Saturday, March 16, 2013

My husband doesn’t want me to sleep in his room

My marriage is just three months old. But the kind of problems we are already having is making me tired already.

When my husband and I were dating we used to share his room and bed so I assumed after marriage we would share a room. But to my amazement, after a week, he told me to move my things into the next room. Even though the rooms have doors that link them together through the bathroom and toilet, I didn’t like the idea of sleeping on a separate bed from my husband at night.

The more I tried to argue the point, the more determined he appeared to be. Since it was too early for us to be fighting over such a matter, I didn’t push it beyond registering my displeasures. Besides, I reasoned there is no way he would protest my sleeping in his room.

But I reasoned wrongly as that night, he told me after making love to relocate to my room that he wanted his peace and space. He didn’t stop there; he told me it was a taboo for him to share his bed with a menstruating woman or a nursing mother. He also said by his upbringing, a serious minded man doesn’t allow a woman near him all the time. Finally, he told me that he would be the one coming to my room whenever he has the urge to make love.

When I asked what would happen if I feel like making love, he didn’t give a reply.

I thought he was joking but his attitude of the successive days showed he wasn’t. After I tried to force myself into his room once or twice, he took to locking his side of the two doors. He only opens the door when he felt like easing himself or taking his bath.

It is so confusing. Another thing is the issue of joint account. He wants us to have a joint account. I don’t want it due to the experiences of my friends. He is equally adamant about it. I am honestly getting fed up with all these challenges. We dated for two years. I never knew he was this rigid and so traditional.

We appear to be worlds apart. I don’t know what to do at all because the man I see daily in the house is a complete stranger who doesn’t have semblance to the one I dated and married.

Toyin.

19 comments:

  1. He is a cultist. Pray harder my sister let God take control of the situation

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes I think so he is a cultist, and the only way out is prayer my sister hand it over to God and see what will happened....?

    ReplyDelete
  3. babe u ve 1 life 2 live,hes usin u! shine ur eyes!

    ReplyDelete
  4. My dear getout of dat house b4 it will be too late.he is a Ritualist

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is not ordinary ooo, something is wrong & something need to be done. "A stitch in time saves nine".

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes i agree wit dem he is a cultist he doesn't want u to know too much shine ur eyes before children start comingforth just be wise.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just leave dat house bcos one day he will use u for ritual , my dear hav it in mind dat u hav one life and there is no marriage in heaven ,use ur head

    ReplyDelete
  8. Of di sam idea my dear start packing ur tings rt 4m dis momnt and ask 4 divorce!Gd luck let God almighty guide u 4m such an evil man.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Babe, don't allow dat man to kill u ooo! Leave him alone he is a ritualist.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pray very well to GOD about it, threaten him with a divorce if he still maintain that rules n if he does not change then involve both families b4 taking ur action.he no longer loves u.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yea I agree wit u,involve ur family dear if d maTter is still not settled n e behaves same way pls liv n ask 4 a divorce,I don't tink both of u re meant 4 each oder,I don't no y re behave lik dat at 1st wen dey re gistin u n wen d relationship is still new dey behave lik saint nxt tin changes it gets worst if u end up marryin dat person,its onli God almighty dat ll hlp us choose d rite guy

    ReplyDelete
  12. Are u still there or u are speaking from ur father's house?

    ReplyDelete
  13. My sister I hope u hv pack out of dat house already except if u ar looking 4 smtn else,wat rubbish marriage??? Better run back 2 ur parents fast bf it`s 2 late

    ReplyDelete
  14. He is a ritualist,u beta leave dat ouz or else he wil kill u one day

    ReplyDelete
  15. All men re d same. when u re dating them, they claim 2 b angle but when u marry them then they will show u d other side of them. May God hav mercy on us n deliver us fr evil men.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I dnt think he is a ritualist,he is just been egoistic.He feels he needs to control u and sleeping on dsame bed wt u all d tym wl make u not have regard for him.Except u don't feel safe in his presence anymore dere is no big deal in sleepn together learn to be on ur own if dats the way dere wl be peace in d house.Enjoy ur life wt or wtout him.

    ReplyDelete
  17. What God has join together let no man put asunder,sis my candid advise to you is to pray to God,because He alone owns the heart of the king and his accomplice.
    And finally,don't even dare get a joint account with him,from the look of tinz he loves gold alot,and he is already planning to dig it!be careful,and don't even think of divorce,coz it not the solution and it evil,just keep praying and God will change him. It saddens me when i read about the way men treat their wives. I God will help me to love mine,wen d time comes.

    ReplyDelete
  18. While this is not new, it is not a good development. i want to believe that it's just the two of you in the home now and so there's no reason why you should not want to be in each other's company. this staying apart doctrine are sometimes religious/ethnic. he also seems egoistic and dominant and you may have encouraged this traits during courtship. You have to speak with him kindly and honestly, let him know how much his decision hurts and how badly you need him. appeal to his ego and convince him that changing his "doctrines" for your sake doesn't make him a less a man. God be with you

    ReplyDelete
  19. You did not tell us all of the story o!. Hmm, the things that women do to make a guy marry them!.
    I don't believe that a normal 2year relationship will result in this kind of marraige you av just described. So, ladies when you come out to tell us how this gus treat you after marryin them, be kind to humour us with the details of how you got them to marry you!

    ReplyDelete