Wednesday, August 31, 2011

RIBS CRACKER.........LOL

Three friends

There were three friends an American a Chinese and a Nigerian guy there were all in America one day they were passing a five star restaurant they were so hungry they decided to eat there they had no money so they decided to play pranks on the waiter. The American guy entered and he ordered for a two course meal after he finished eating the waiter came with the bill then he said he had already paid earlier the waiter could not remember but asked him to go.
The Chinese guy came in ordered for a three course meal when he was through the waiter came with the bill and the Chinese guy told the waiter that he paid earlier the manager came out and asked him to go.


The Nigerian guy then went in he ordered for a five course meal with a big bottle of stout when he finished the waiter brought the bill before him, the waiter told him not to pull any prank that two guys like him came in and pulled pranks on him that he wants the money then the Nigerian guy said that's your business all i want is my change.

LET THE POISON WORK

Sylve was dying.
His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I
have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife
replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die
in peace. I slept with you, ur sister,
your best friend, her best friend,
and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied.
"Now just rest and let the poison
work"

The Math teacher, The Priest, and The Soldier
A priest, a math teacher, and a soldier all got on the plane.

The math teacher took out his math book to plan his next lesson, and it fell out the window.

The priest took out to bible to pray, and it fell out the window.

The soldier took out a grenade in memory of his grandfather, and it fell out the window.

They all got off the plane.

The math teacher found a girl crying on the sidewalk. The math teacher asks, "Why are you crying?" The little girl says, "A math book fell from the sky and hit me on the head!" The math teacher walked away.

The priest found a little boy crying on his lawn. The priest asked, "Why are you crying?" The little boy said, "A bible fell out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The priest walked away.

The soldier found a boy on the street laughing his head off. The soldier asks, "Why are you laughing so hard?" The little boy said," I farted and that house blew up!!!!"


u go fear 

A man trying to undastand the nature of God asked Him ''God,how long is a million year to u''
God answered him ''a million year is like a minute to me''
The man asked Him''how much is a million pounds to u''
God aswered him again''a million pounds is like a penny to me''
The man then asked Him''God,could u pls give me a penny?''
God answered''yes,but that would be in a minute''



The Naked Rasta

A Rastaman was sunbathing nude on the beach in Folly Port Antonio. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.

 "Wha yuh 'ave undah de newspaper?"
 

Thinking quickly, the Rasta replied, "A bird."

The girl walked away, and the Rastaman fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in the Port Antonio hospital in tremendous pain.

 The police asked him what happened.

The Rasta said, "Mi nuh know. I mon was lying on de beach, an dis likkle gal asked me a question, den I mon ... guess I mon mussah dozed off an next ting I man know is I mon deh ya."

 The police went to the beach, found the little girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked Rasta?"
 

After a pause, the girl replied, "Me neva do nutten to him! Nutten at all. Me was a play wid him bird an it spit pon me. So, me bruk its neck, cracked its two eggs dem, and set de nest pon fire!

And the beef goes on...Ruggedman vs 9ice

When Gbenga Adeyinka invited the two artist to perform at an event in ibadan,fans of both artiste thought this will end the rift between the duo,but it was a different story.Actually I wasn`t at the event,but Tribune crew went there and this was how they reported it:

A Tribune Report:

The effort of Gbenga Adeyinka at ending the rift between 9ice and Ruggedman suffered a setback as the duo did not even set eyes on each other at the event he said was planned to broker peace. 

 To the dismay of the comedian, 9ice arrived late to the event venue, hours after Ruggedman had long performed and left for Lagos.
Fans believed 9ice was not favourably disposed to settling the rift with Ruggedman. He is believed to hold the rapper responsible for his broken marriage to Toni Payne, his former wife.
Though he never came out to put the blame on his former friend, 9ice acted like Rugged truly had an affair with Toni as he never did anything to quell the rumour when it spread last year.
Last week at the event, 9ice didn’t let slip the opportunity to ridicule Ruggedman before the 1,500 audience that filled Jogor Center.
Arriving the venue few hours after Ruggedman had left the stage, 9ice got the crowd in jovial mood with “Gongo Aso”, “Street Credibility”, and “Photocopy.”
The last song was taken to be a swipe at Ruggedman.
But 9ice’s fans blame Ruggedman for starting another round of cold-war when he sang “Unstoppable”, a song he did with Recoba.
An official of the outfit that organised the comedy show said  Ruggedman needed not to have sang that song at such an event knowing that 9ice was also the bill of Laffmatazz With Gbenga Adeyinka & Friends.
“I believe that Ruggedman intended to diss 9ice, else he would have sang any other of his songs and not “Unstoppable” as 9ice would naturally assume the song was an attack on his position in the music industry,” he said.
Rugged, however, told R that he did what was expected of him as a musician, and owed no one any apology.
“It’s my song now, must anyone tell me what song to sing at an event and what I shouldn’t
“Anyway, I couldn’t be bothered what anyone thought, I didn’t appear at the event because of 9ice, it was because of my fans, and for Gbenga
“People will always read meanings into what I say, or do, especially when it concerns 9ice, but 9ice is not the least of my concerns now. I have better things I’m doing presently”.
Asked if he had a foreknowledge of Gbenga’s plan to set him and 9ice on a face-to-face truce meeting at the event venue, Ruggedman said he was not told there was to be a truce meeting
“Gbenga didn’t tell me that. I only advice the guy to get it right with his family, that is more important.
Gbenga had earlier told R that he planned to end the rift between the duo.
 
 
 
Nigerian tribune online

LINDA IKEJI IS A FAILED MODEL....-TONTO DIKEH

Linda Ikeji

Tonto Dikeh
Linda Ikeji is a renowned blogger and her blog was recently rated as the most visited blog site in Nigeria.She was a top Nigerian model in 2004-2006.This morning Tonto puts up a fight on Linda on twitter by tweeting thus:

"Hehehhehehehhe Juzt heard dat Linda Ikeji d blogger is a failed Model**Buhehehehehehehehe*#POKO#"

But Linda showed maturity by replying thus:

"lol, i see u pple are waiting for a fight? not gonna happen, i'm a lover not a fighter..:-)"

When fans of both parties saw this,it was really a war on tonto on twitter,fans replying tonto as been childish and immature.

What do you guys feel about this tweets.....????

MIkel Obi Visits President Jonathan to say thank you


Super Eagles and Chelsea player, Mikel Obi, visited President Goodluck Jonathan at the State House on Monday August 29th to thank him for the way the Nigerian police responded and helped rescue his father when he was kidnapped.

Photo credit: PM News

Tonto Dike's Outfit to Uche Jombo`s Movie "Damage" Premiere in London


Some say she look a waiter,others ask if she was an usher at the event......lol..please let me hear ur own abeg....?????

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

KANYE WEST,LADY GAGA,BEYONCE,OTHERS BANNED FROM CHINA

Kanye West is among the artistes who have had their music banned on Chinese internet.Rapper Kanye West's music was among the songs officially banned from the Internet in China, the Ministry of Culture department has announced. Kanye's hit song "E.T." with Katy Perry was officially banned from the Internet and even personal websites.

The song was one of ...100 tracks banned due to their threat to Chinese culture, the Ministry of Culture said in an official statement.

Other artists that were banned include Lady Gaga, The Backstreet Boys, Katy Perry, Beyoncé Knowles, Britney Spears and others.

“Certain websites have been allowing users to play, listen to and download the listed songs,” the ministry said in a statement. “Such actions have disturbed the online music market order and endangered national cultural safety.”

The Chinese government began regulating music on the Internet two years ago. This is the third time that they have issued a ban on music the ministry of Culture considers "tasteless and vulgar."

K SOLO (Music Producer) BUYS N36MILLION PROPERTY IN LAGOS

The talented producer, who has produced beats for Paul Play, Kefee, Sunny Neji and many more A-list Nigerian artists, is reaping the fruits of his labour. Sources say he just acquired N36million property in Agege, Lagos, and he confirmed this when he said:

"Yes it's true. The house is in an estate in Agege. It is worth that amount. I just got it and I am working on it now. I have not finished payment on the property, I still have a few millions to pay."

Congrats bro....

20 People Killed In Fresh violence In Jos


No fewer than 20 people were feared killed and more than 20 wounded in renewed violence in Jos Plateau on Monday.

The victims were allegedly shot by soldiers who escorted some Muslims to pray at the prayer ground.

At least, 50 vehicles were also reportedly burnt in the clashes between some rival Muslim and Christian youth groups in the metropolis. Some were said to have met their death in Apata area, mostly inhabited by the Igbo.

The clash was said to have occurred when some operatives of the Special Task Force and the police tried to escort some Muslims back to their homes after they had gone to observe their Sallah prayers.

On sighting the Muslims youths, who were chanting Allahu Akbar, the youths went berserk. Attempts by the security agents to disperse them were resisted. It was gathered that in the process shots were fired into the air to scare them.

Some youths from Gada Biu, who stormed the Press Centre of the Nigerian Union of Journalists in Jos on Monday, said a group of Muslims who had gone to pray were on the way back shouting of Allahu Akbar.

Their spokesman, Mr. Yusuf Khadiya, told newsmen that in the pandemonium, soldiers shot indiscriminately into the air. The soldiers were alleged to have shot directly into the Kabong Market where most of the casualties were recorded.

He said three youths were killed in Kabong alone.

Police Commissioner, Mr. Diipo Ayeni, could not confirm the figures. He told our correspondent in an interview that the reports were still being collated. He however said the situation had been brought under control and appealed to the residents to go about their normal duties.

Tensions had enveloped Jos on Friday when reports started filtering in that a group of people planned to attack Jos during the Sallah celebrations.

This had prompted the state police command to issue a statement warning residents to avoid some areas during the celebrations.

Ayeni, in the statement announced the closure of some major roads in Jos the state capital and authorisation of certain routes for passage on Sallah day.

By Monday morning tension had built up; traders avoided their shops, while students on summer lessons stayed indoors.

Banks along Murtala Mohammed Way and popular Ahmadu Bello Way business area of the Jos City quickly shut their doors to customers while their security guards and armed policemen attached to the banks patrol round the bank premises.

One of the roads to be blocked include Abattoir Road as people wishing to take that route, are expected to pass through Dogon Karfe through old Airport junction instead.

Pictures:Kanye west performance with D'banj and Don Jazzy at Koko concert London

Kanye west performed with his G.o.o.d Music Artiste D banj and Don Jazzy at the Koko concert ,Hammersmith Apollo, london few hours ago. See pictures below:





Mikel Obi, Osaze Odemwingie hire bodyguards for their fathers




Mikel Obi has hired plain clothe security personnel for his father and other members of his family in Jos, after the kidnap saga that saw his father held by kidnappers for 11 days. Some footballers are also beefing up security around their family members. Osaze Odemwingie is one of them. The footballer has built a security network around his dad who lives in his house in Benin, Edo State.

More Photos from Mercy Johnson & Prince Odi's Wedding and Woman Who Tried To Interrupt



 


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



Photo Source- Linda Ikeji

Kate Henshaw, Jim Iyke comment on being dropped as Glo Ambassadors

News filtered out a few weeks ago that Globacom has dropped Kate Henshaw-Nuttal and Jim Iyke as their brand ambassadors, but the two say they are not aware of the new development. Kate had no comment on the matter when approached by journalists, Jim Iyke said he only heard it in the news, that they've not been officially notified.

So basically what happened was that Glo released the names of their ambassadors to the press and in the list, Sunny Neji, Kate and Jim Iyke's names were missing and new names were added. Globacom Marketing Communications manager, Onyeakachi Nwosu then said that 'anybody whose name doesn't appear on the list is definitely not a Glo Ambassadors'

Teacher Blinds Her 10 Years Old Female Pupil





Blessing Okaeben, a 10-year-old pupil of Okhoro Primary school, Benin, in Oredo Local Government Area of Edo State, was in her mathematics class on 16 June 2011 when tragedy befell her. Her class teacher, Mrs. Mercy Monday, beat her blue and black until she lost her right eye.She narrated that the teacher descended on her after she failed a Mathematics test. First, the teacher used a cane on her and after it turned to shreds, she beat her with a bunch of broomsticks, hitting her on the head, face and other parts of the body. As the beating went on, the woman kept calling her a witch, who was responsible for all the ills in the school.

In the process, she sustained injury in the right eye. In fact, the organ started oozing a watery substance!

The second day, the victim’s mother reported the matter to the school authorities, which ordered the teacher to take the student to the University of Benin Teaching Hospital, UBTH, where a broken piece of broomstick was removed from her injured eye. The teacher paid for the treatment.

However, the girl’s condition got worse the following day and the teacher was asked to return the victim to the hospital. And when she called upon to foot the bill, she refused, saying she was pregnant with her own child, so cannot be spending money treating another child. Since there was no medical help forthcoming from the teacher or the school, the girl lost use of the injured eye.

Consequently, the pupil’s parent consulted a lawyer, Mr.Dele Igbinedion, who has written a letter to Governor Adams Oshiomhole, asking for N100 million compensation for the girl and a notice of intention to institute legal proceeding against the Edo State Government.

Igbinedion averred that the money is required for medical intervention in Europe or the United States of America – to either reverse the deterioration in the other eye or undertake specialised iris transplant on the affected one. He added that such intervention must be done with all urgency.

The mother of the pupil, Mrs Faith Okaeben, was in tears as she narrated her ordeal. She appealed to the Comrade Governor to assist them in restoring her daughter’s eye.

On a visit to Okhoro Primary School, neither Mrs. Monday nor the head teacher granted The NEWS audience.

Monday, August 29, 2011

CONTROVERIES ON NGOZI NWOSU'S HEALTH

The health condition of veteran actress Ngozi Nwosu has stirred controversy in the industry since the beginning of this year.

Early this year, rumor mongers circulated a very pathetic story indicating that this actress was suffering from Leukemia.

According to them, the light skin thespian lost weight drastically and appeared to survived from a severe sickness. It was equally said that she was visiting the hospital regularly.

However, despite her shrunken looks she stormed an event months after the rumor and refuted the story. She revealed that her weight loss was to enable her fit into a movie role that she just finished, and denied ever being sick or having Leukemia.

Two weeks back, insider sources disclosed to us that Nwosu who has not been able to regain her weight in past months, managed to appear in public as she has been very sick.

According to the source, the star of TV series Fuji House of Commotion revealed that she has been down with malaria and typhoid and as a result of severe headache she developed an ear infection which has been emitting pus for a long time.

However, the source continued that she is praising God for a better health






Source

JIM IYKE CRIED OVER LOSS OF GLO ENDORSEMENT

Going by the insiders information reaching us, top movie big boy Jim Iyke is no longer experiencing happy moments these days, despite all his preparation to assume a new life.

As gathered, the loss of his endorsement with Globacom Telecommunication Company came at a very wrong time in the actor’s life, as he is really planning hard to ensure that his marriage to the Jamaican sexy babe Katurah Hamilton will be one of the biggest celebrity weddings this year.

They informed us that the gifted and handsome dude has been crying incessantly in the last weeks since Globacom cut him off his endorsement contract.

According to the source, Jim has been lamenting to his close pals that his contract was supposed to be renewed, as his name appeared for new season according to the information he got last month




Source

Revealed!!!...Gaddafi, two sons hiding south of Tripoli

Muammar al-Gaddafi, and his sons Saadi and Seif al-Islam are in the town of Bani Walid south of Tripoli, Italian news agency ANSA said Monday, citing “authoritative Libyan diplomatic sources”.

ANSA cited the same sources in Rome saying that Gaddafi’s wife Safiya and three of his other children, Aisha, Hannibal and Mohammed were in Algeria.

The Algerian foreign ministry later confirmed the four crossed into Algeria earlier Monday.

ANSA said another Gaddafi son, Khamis, had “almost certainly” been killed on the way from Tripoli to Bani Walid.

Libya’s rebel leadership on Sunday said that Khamis, whose death has been announced several times since the conflict erupted, may have been killed in a clash with rebel fighters in the city of Tarhuna southeast of Tripoli.

Bani Walid is about 100 kilometres (62 miles) from the Libyan capital.

Libya’s defected former prime minister Abessalam Jalloud, who has fled to Rome, last week said Kadhafi could be hiding south of Tripoli.

“There are two possibilities: either he is hiding south of Tripoli or he left some time ago,” Jalloud told reporters.

The leader of the rebel National Transitional Council, Mustafa Abdel Jalil, on Monday cautioned against a let-up in international action against Kaddafi saying he “still poses a danger, not only for Libya but for the world.”

“That is why we are calling for the coalition to continue its support,” Abdel Jalil said at a meeting of chiefs of staff in Doha of countries militarily involved in Libya.

Italy is Libya’s former colonial ruler and enjoyed close diplomatic and economies ties with Kaddafi’s regime before the start of a popular uprising this year. It has since joined the international coalition against Kaddafi.



Source

Traders set up anti-piracy taskforce at Alaba

Traders at the Alaba International Market, Ojo, Lagos State, have set up a task force to curb piracy and sale of substandard goods.

The Public Relations Officer (PRO) of the Alaba International Market Association, Anayo Zimako, stated this in Lagos on Tuesday. He said that traders at the market, reputed for the sale of electronics, were prepared to be in the forefront of the fight against piracy to promote intellectual property rights.

He urged buyers to ensure that receipts from traders in the market had their shop numbers to facilitate investigations regarding piracy and fake products, adding that the traders were worried that the market was being wrongfully perceived as the home of substandard goods.

He said that the association was ready to prove the contrary, adding that the market, established in 1977 under the administration of the then Commodore Ndubuisi Kanu, had been serving customers in West Africa.

“Alaba International Market is the pride of Africa and second to none among organised markets in the entire world; we are a major player in the economy,” he said. “We are the ones who do the practical aspect and should be in the position to know which policy will work or not.”

Zimako expressed satisfaction with the efforts of the state government to empower the police to ensure security in the market, and also noted that the government provided a vehicle to the association for maintenance of order in the market.

The official commended the ongoing Lagos State Government’s expansion of the Lagos-Badagry Expressway, which connects Lagos to the West Coast. He hoped that the road expansion would boost activities in the market.

The government is expanding the road from four to 10 lanes. It also plans to introduce a light rail from Marina on Lagos Island to Okokomaiko, after Ojo.




Source

Four killed and 50 vehicles burnt in fresh violence in Jos.

Violence erupted in the Plateau State capital again yesterday leaving at least four people dead and several others injured.

Three of those killed were said to be innocent passers-by who were attacked based on their perceived religious affiliation.

The slain commercial motorcycle rider was alleged to have been tricked into Angwan Rukuba area and killed for the sole purpose of stealing his motorcycle.

Angered by the development, youths in Nasarawa Gwom took to the streets and attacked passers-by, many of whom were said to have been on their way to church.

An eyewitness said a man dressed in suit was seen hacked down by the mob not far from the Duala junction just as another two other people were reportedly killed around Filling Ball.

Another eye witness claimed to have sighted a corpse in Angwan Rukuba area where reprisal attacks were also launched by youths in the area against people believed to belong to the opposing camp.

However, the prompt intervention of security men prevented the situation from degenerating.
The situation generated panic as many of those heading for church returned home while streets were deserted for most parts of the day.

Although there was no official reaction to the development from either the police or the Special Task Force, security men were seen at full alert at strategic locations in the state capital to forestall further trouble.

In a similar development, a 50-year-old man was on Saturday killed at his residence in Jol village of Riyom Local Government Area of the state after suspected hoodlums attacked the village.

District Head of Jol, Danladi Taje who confirmed the incident said he was macheted by his assailants and lamented series of attacks and secret killings in the area since April by people suspected to be Fulani.



Source