Wednesday, August 31, 2011

RIBS CRACKER.........LOL

Three friends

There were three friends an American a Chinese and a Nigerian guy there were all in America one day they were passing a five star restaurant they were so hungry they decided to eat there they had no money so they decided to play pranks on the waiter. The American guy entered and he ordered for a two course meal after he finished eating the waiter came with the bill then he said he had already paid earlier the waiter could not remember but asked him to go.
The Chinese guy came in ordered for a three course meal when he was through the waiter came with the bill and the Chinese guy told the waiter that he paid earlier the manager came out and asked him to go.


The Nigerian guy then went in he ordered for a five course meal with a big bottle of stout when he finished the waiter brought the bill before him, the waiter told him not to pull any prank that two guys like him came in and pulled pranks on him that he wants the money then the Nigerian guy said that's your business all i want is my change.

LET THE POISON WORK

Sylve was dying.
His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I
have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife
replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die
in peace. I slept with you, ur sister,
your best friend, her best friend,
and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied.
"Now just rest and let the poison
work"

The Math teacher, The Priest, and The Soldier
A priest, a math teacher, and a soldier all got on the plane.

The math teacher took out his math book to plan his next lesson, and it fell out the window.

The priest took out to bible to pray, and it fell out the window.

The soldier took out a grenade in memory of his grandfather, and it fell out the window.

They all got off the plane.

The math teacher found a girl crying on the sidewalk. The math teacher asks, "Why are you crying?" The little girl says, "A math book fell from the sky and hit me on the head!" The math teacher walked away.

The priest found a little boy crying on his lawn. The priest asked, "Why are you crying?" The little boy said, "A bible fell out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The priest walked away.

The soldier found a boy on the street laughing his head off. The soldier asks, "Why are you laughing so hard?" The little boy said," I farted and that house blew up!!!!"


u go fear 

A man trying to undastand the nature of God asked Him ''God,how long is a million year to u''
God answered him ''a million year is like a minute to me''
The man asked Him''how much is a million pounds to u''
God aswered him again''a million pounds is like a penny to me''
The man then asked Him''God,could u pls give me a penny?''
God answered''yes,but that would be in a minute''



The Naked Rasta

A Rastaman was sunbathing nude on the beach in Folly Port Antonio. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.

 "Wha yuh 'ave undah de newspaper?"
 

Thinking quickly, the Rasta replied, "A bird."

The girl walked away, and the Rastaman fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in the Port Antonio hospital in tremendous pain.

 The police asked him what happened.

The Rasta said, "Mi nuh know. I mon was lying on de beach, an dis likkle gal asked me a question, den I mon ... guess I mon mussah dozed off an next ting I man know is I mon deh ya."

 The police went to the beach, found the little girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked Rasta?"
 

After a pause, the girl replied, "Me neva do nutten to him! Nutten at all. Me was a play wid him bird an it spit pon me. So, me bruk its neck, cracked its two eggs dem, and set de nest pon fire!

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