Tuesday, August 16, 2011

BORED???....CRACK YA RIBS........LOL...

A little boy said: mummy do u know that our housegirl is an angel?
Mum: why did u ask?
boy said: because i saw her unclothed with her hands on the wall shouting oh God!, am coming, am comin, am comin, if not for daddy that was holding her tight from the back, she wouold have flown to heaven

Sophizzy: hey Idowu, i jst got ma blackberry ooh,  I'll buy my pin nxt week.

Idowu:u try o! Me i don dash jane my own

Sophizzy:y na

Idowu:because blackberry don taya me, nw na BB i dey use

Sophizzy:is your BB nokia or samsung?

Evening Classes

At work, Tom and Jack were chatting:

Tom: Jack, I’ve been attending evening classes for 8 months now and I have a test next month.

Jack: oh!

Tom: For example, do you know who is Thomas Edison?

Jack: No

Tom: He’s the inventor of the light bulb; if you take evening classes you would know this.

The next day, the same discussion took place:

Tom: Do you know who Gandhi is?

Jack: No

Tom: He’s the key architect of Indian Independence, if you take evening courses, you would know this.

The next day, once again:

Tom: And do you know who J.K Rowling is?

Jack: No

Tom: She’s the author of Harry Potter series, if you take evening courses, you would know this.

This time, Jack got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Kevin Johnny?

Tom: No

Jack: He’s the guy roaming with your wife everyday!! If you stop evening courses, you would know.

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the beers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

There was a mother and dauther in room b4 a thief entered into their house. The thief put a knife to the neck of the mother to rape.

dauther: pls sir dont kill my mother am ready for your request.

mother: stop that dauther.... your father hav left me since 22yr and hav been only since without sex.

dauther: mum dont 4get dat my husband left me for anoda girl in uk.

mother: pls dauther i need ds.

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